The Rise of the Unrelatable Black Woman
By Nontobeko Kolstad- Mar 19
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 24
Meghan Markle & Nara Aziz Are Living the Lives No One Prepared Us For
The Fairytale Was Never Meant for Them
We all grew up on Disney. Cinderella. Sleeping Beauty. Belle. The princess was always white, delicate, and waiting for a prince who looked just like her.
Black girls? We weren’t written into that story. If we appeared at all, it was as the best friend, the background character—never the one being chosen.
And then, Meghan Markle walked down the aisle in Givenchy to marry a real-life prince. Nara Aziz built a fairytale of her own, marrying one of the world’s most eligible billionaires. They weren’t just stepping into wealth and power. They were stepping into spaces that history had kept Black women locked out of for centuries.
The world wasn’t ready.
Interracial Love—From Exotic to Equal
For decades, interracial relationships came with a script.
Older, wealthy white men. Younger, exoticized Black women. Transactional, not romantic.
Trophy wife status, never life partner.
Today? The rules have changed. Young, powerful men—men who could have anyone—are choosing Black women as equals. And people don’t know how to process it.
What changed?
Women gained financial independence—they no longer “needed” a provider.
Schools and workplaces integrated—love happened naturally.
Social media expanded beauty standards—Black women were seen, desired, chosen.
Post-segregation, post-apartheid—a generation no longer bound by old social rules.
And the numbers back it up: Studies show that white men who marry Black women have a 44% higher chance of staying married. This isn’t a trend. It’s a shift.
Meghan & Nara—More Than Wives
Let’s get something straight—these women were never just “lucky.”
Meghan Markle wasn’t plucked from obscurity. She was an actress, a philanthropist, a self-made woman who ran a food blog (The Tig) before influencer culture even existed.
Nara Aziz was already in elite circles as a model. She built a global brand around food, lifestyle, and luxury. She didn’t need rescuing. She built her own empire.
These women weren’t saved. They weren’t charity cases. They were powerful long before they married powerful men.
The Gatekeeping of Wealth & Love
The discomfort surrounding Meghan and Nara isn’t just about money or status. It’s about history.
The elite, picture-perfect family has always been white, blonde, and untouchable.
Black women were kept out—not just from wealth but from being seen as desirable partners.
Meghan and Nara disrupt centuries of social conditioning, and people don’t know how to handle it.
And the old excuses? They don’t hold up.
“Gold diggers?” No. They came in with their own success.
“Fetishized?” No. These men are young, successful, and could have anyone—but they chose them.
“Just a trend?” No. This shift has been happening for a decade, and now it’s at the highest levels of society.
So what’s left? Unconscious bias.
The way Meghan is talked about proves it.
After her Netflix documentary aired, one viewer ranted:
"Me-gain's show is boring and fake and scripted and a total PR campaign. Sussex was a gifted title, not a family last name, which she shouldn't even have. She is narcissistic and pretentious to the max. The shows are all staged and scripted. Fake property. Fake friends. Fake everything. She's a grifter—only interested in making money. She's a hollow shell of a person and 100% unlikeable. There is nothing interesting or good to see here. In fact, she is a maddening person. Full of lies."
Notice what’s missing? Any real critique.
It’s not about her work. It’s not about her philanthropy. It’s not about her actual actions.
It’s about her mere existence in a space people didn’t expect to see her in.
This isn’t just hate. This is disbelief. The disbelief that a Black woman could step into this life, be loved for who she is, and thrive.
Notice what’s missing? Any real critique.It’s not about her work. It’s not about her philanthropy. It’s not about her actual actions.
It’s about her mere existence in a space people didn’t expect to see her in.
This isn’t just hate. This is disbelief. The disbelief that a Black woman could step into this life, be loved for who she is, and thrive.
From Maids to Mavens—A Century of Erasure
To fully grasp why this backlash is so visceral, we have to rewind. For centuries, Black women in Western society were confined to one role—servitude.
Domestic Workers: In the early 1900s, over 90% of Black working women were employed as domestic servants, nannies, and maids.
The Mammy Stereotype: The media romanticized the idea of the loyal Black nursemaid—self-sacrificing, doting on white children while ignoring her own.
Hollywood’s Role: For decades, Black women were portrayed as maids (see: Gone With the Wind, The Help), reinforcing the idea that they belonged in supporting roles, never the spotlight.
Meghan and Nara are not just rich, successful, and in love. They are historical anomalies, breaking into spaces where Black women were once only background characters.
The backlash? It’s the world trying—and failing—to force them back into a supporting role.
The Fear of the Unrelatable Black Woman
People love a story they can understand.
Rags-to-riches? That makes sense.
Struggle before success? That’s digestible.
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